How not to get frustrated when you visit a Nigerian bank.
I have had my fair share of bank visits and I think I have enough stories to last a lifetime. If you are thinking I have millions of naira stored somewhere hence my reason for bank visits, then I am sorry to disappoint you but I do not. I only go to the bank when I have issues I feel that even though can be resolved online, there is a need for a physical visit to express my anger. For my non-Nigerian readers, my experience might seem different from yours or maybe not. Anyways, here are some things to do if you want to be treated as royalty in a Nigerian bank.
- Dress to impress
By this I mean overdress, make the security personnel and other staff think you are there to withdraw millions even though it might be your last 2k you want to withdraw.
2. Be in the bureau de change business
If you don’t deal with different currencies daily, you are not important to Nigerian banks even if you have been waiting for hours to be attended to. Just walk in to the bank with a bag full of money, jump the queue and look for a cashier to attend to you immediately and voila you are done.
3. Bring a baby along
Now this one is a bit tricky, if you are not a baby person or your neighbour’s child hates you for some reason then I can’t help you. However, if you are like me and a baby magnet then by all means ask to babysit your neighbour’s kid and take a stroll to the bank. When you arrive, pray that the baby starts crying and because the bank is supposed to be a quiet place you’ll get attended to quickly.
4. “Tip” the security personnel
Walk to the security at the entrance and pretend to ask questions then slide money into their hands and just walk away. Few minutes later, the security personnel would give you access into the bank amidst other customers concern but who cares? You are VIP and others do not matter.
5. Don’t go to the bank at all
Do not stress yourself, bank visit is not worth. In this Covid era, you will definitely spend hours outside waiting to be attended to because of the crowd inside the bank. So why will you want to spend your day waiting to get frustrated when you can spend it doing better things like working, watching tv or most importantly sleeping!
